All on the table (part 2): the happy stuff.

Monday, January 14, 2013
Sometimes things happen that we have no control over. As much as we want something to work out, it doesn't always happen that way. Sometimes others make choices that affect us, but we can do nothing about. 

I have been divorced a year now. Did I think I would be engaged at this point? Definitely not. Did I think I would even be dating at this point? Still, definitely not.

This year was hard. The beginning more so than now. At one point I felt like a failure and had no hope in love or relationships or marriage. I had never experienced a hurt as deep as the one I went through. Some days I felt like life was over and there was no hope for me (i'm a girl, dramatic sometimes). I had to put on a tough face and carry on and not let anyone see that I was dying inside. I wouldn't wish those feelings or events upon anyone.

It took me a while to realize a few things. 
1. I can only control myself. I can't control what others do or say.
2. Blessings come in weird ways. I had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't do anything more with my previous marriage. In the long run it did in fact become the biggest blessing of my life for numerous reasons.
3. Sometimes you have to experience the bad, to really appreciate the good. 
4. I deserve the best. I deserve to be treated with respect and love and so does every single person. If it is not that way, something needs to change. I slowly kept telling myself that I didn't deserve to be treated well and I was lucky to have what I had and I deserved what I had. This is definitely not true. When I finally got divorced and later started dating Saunder, I told myself I didn't deserve such a great guy. I am glad I snapped out of that. My marriage tore me down to nothing and I had no self confidence or self worth and I was miserable. It took a while to regain confidence and realize that it wasn't my fault that I had such a horrible experience and I did in fact, deserve the absolute best.

I am amazed and so thankful I found Saunder. Here is our story...

I moved to Orem from St. George in Febuary 2012. I didn't know a lot of people that were single. I wanted to meet some good guys and maybe restore my faith in men a little. I found myself signing up for (go ahead and laugh now). I had the account open for a little over 48 hours. I saw Saunder on the site and messaged him. I had over 70 emails the next day so I left Saunder a message and told him to find  me on Facebook if he wanted to, and I deleted my account. He did just that.

We went on our first date March 22nd 2012. I was going to a midnight showing of the Hunger Games later that night with my friends and he went out of his way to make our date Hunger Games themed. He even read the book a few days before our date. Now that is dedication. He was amazing from the get-go.

We were around each other a lot. Dates, watching Jazz games, eating ice cream, ping-pong matches, and it goes on and on. But for me, it was just friendship. I wasn't ready for anything remotely close to a relationship and nothing feelings wise was there at that time. During that time, we did build up an awesome friendship. We were comfortable around each other and he liked me for my weird goofy self. He helped me through a lot. Our friendship continued to grow and grow.

He kissed me on July 5th. I love that our relationship was built up on friendship and respect and not physical. What a great foundation! Well, a couple months went by and the more we were around each other the more my friend feelings turned into more. 

I have never been treated better. All the boys I have dated combined still don't compare. I'm sure you have seen through my Instagram overload. I think he is a keeper. ;)

When I was little, in church we (young women's group) wrote down a list of qualities we wanted in a husband. Before, I justified and was flexible with what I wanted for what I thought I wanted more. This time around, I can say this man IS everything I have ever wanted and more. Even down to the little silly things. 

January 14, 2013 Saunder proposed.

When I walked home I found this leading up to my first clue on my door...

and the first clue read...

I headed over to Texas Roadhouse and got my next clue that read...

Next stop, Trafalga

Our first kiss, at his apartment. I headed over and found this note on the door...

After visiting Joe (Saunder's roommate) at work this was my next clue...

At work I was greeted by all my cute co-workers with another clue that said...

And I ended up on a hill in the freezing cold. As I pulled up everyone released lit up paper lanterns and he was waiting at the top with candles and roses.

After the proposal he took me to a very nice Steak house and of course I chose the biggest steak in the world...

What an amazing special night.

I know first had that marriage isn't easy and it's always something that requires two people to continually be putting forth 100%. I can honestly say that this time around, marriage will be MUCH MUCHHHH easier with this guy. And that is how it should be. 

I know my love will only continue to grow stronger for Saunder. I am excited to work at this with him. I am excited to spend my life with him and even better, eternity. So excited to be Mrs. Schroeder.

A Quote I found recently sums this up perfectly...
"sometimes the wrong choices, bring us to the right places"

I don't necessarily like to think of my previous adventures as wrong choices, but they were in a way. The good news is, I am now in the right place.

Thank you again to those who were nothing but supportive through the good times and the bad. I will never forget the things my friends did for me and the support I received. I love you all.

15 comments on "All on the table (part 2): the happy stuff. "
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  1. So so happy for you! You two make a darling couple.

  2. This is SO freaking cute! Every girl wants and deserves a romantic moment like this! I am so happy for you two and wish you both the best in your upcoming wedding planning! XO

  3. love you and am soo happy for you!! you definitely deserve all the happiness in the world. xoxo.

  4. Congratulations Jalynn! I am so happy for you and wishing you all the best - excited to watch as your wedding comes together.

  5. Congratulations! What a beautiful proposal. I wish you all the best in this new chapter in your life!


  6. this is so darn cute that im crying... im so very happy for you both, and i only wish you the best.

  7. So cute! I am so happy that you are happy! You guys are a really cute couple! Congratulations :)

  8. this is so very tender. it is amazing how the trials that we go through make us feel so worthless, and later we realize that it was all part of the Lord's plan. somehow, somewhere down the long treacherous path we start get a little bit stronger. we realize that we are worth much more than we ever thought possible. each and every day, we smile a little bigger and slowly start to realize that this life isn't so bad afterall. the Lord knew what he was doing all along, and even though it seemed hard for a while, i can only imagine how happy you are to be at the point you are at.

    its crazy how this silly blog world connects strangers, and then makes me cry a little bit when i read this! although i don't know you, i have been in Saunder's ward for just under a year. He is an incredible person and I am SO happy for you guys! such an adorable couple. congratulations on the engagement :) best of luck to both of you in preparation for the wedding and also for the journey of eternity that lays ahead!

  9. Congratulations Jay! This is wonderful news

  10. Congratulations! You deserve the best, and now was your time to be truly happy.

    You have definitely given me hope that one day I can "Have it all." You are definitely and example of not settling and knowing that you deserve the best. So thank you!

    And Congrats again, you guys are one good lookin' couple.

  11. Jay, I can't tell you enough how elated I am for you and Saunder. I have kind of fallen in love with you guys, and want nothing but the very very best. On a more personal note, reading through this blog post I find myself “sticking” to points in your post. “Sometimes you have to experience the bad, to really appreciate the good.” I’m going to start dating again. Your story is an inspirational one, and I am going to pick myself back up and start finding the one person who fits me. Thanks for being one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and for inspiring me to believe that I deserve love too.

  12. How romantic! He definitely sounds like a keeper. Thank you for being willing to share your story with the world. I admire you for it, because I know it's not easy. I'm excited to keep reading and seeing how your story continues to unfold :], plus I love your style! Wishing you happy wedding planning! X0, Ashpants

  13. Congrats! I'm happy you found someone you can be happy with. And, I love your blog!

  14. Vulnerable emotions are the outcome of traumatic life events. We have all encountered circumstances that were upsetting or destructive. We instinctively push away or shut off these intimate sensations because they feel too overwhelming or challenging to investigate. If you ever face obstacle, check out with couples therapy.